You hate the mush. You cringe at the poorly crafted proclamations of love littering your Facebook feed. You think it's absolutely genius that a Georgia sheriff straight up canceled Valentine's Day because of the weather. You're single. Or one-half of a couple who really can't be bothered. Here are ways you can get through — and maybe even enjoy — the most inauthentic holiday of the year.
Binge on Frank Underwood, not chocolate
Embark on one of the greatest binges of your life. All 13 episodes of Season 2 of House of Cards premieres on Netflix on Friday (3:01 a.m. ET/12:01 a.m. PT). Netflix's original political series debuted last year, and the first season snagged four Golden Globe nominations. Kevin Spacey's conniving congressman Frank Underwood brazenly lies, cheats and murders his way to the top. In the new season, Spacey gets "one heartbeat away from the presidency" and everyone else is on the verge of a meltdown. Season 3 has already been ordered. It's almost too much to handle.
Hit up the freebies
You can detest the day in your heart but still snag the freebies. Buy a latte at Starbucks from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday and get one free. Hit up Krispy Kreme, which is offering 12 Krispy Kreme Doughnut Valentines free when you buy a dozen doughnuts. At Qdoba, buy one queso entree, share a smooch, and get a second entree free. Full disclosure: It's unclear whom you have to smooch.
Watch the Olympics
It's the perfect antidote to the most artificial holiday of the year. What's more authentic than the Olympics? The faces of victory, the agony of defeat, the devoted families and fans. Friday is the final phase of men's figure skating, the free skate, to determine who wins a medal, and American Ted Ligety searches for a second gold medal in the super combined downhill slalom.
Catch a movie without the sap
This year's V-Day flicks are Endless Love and Winter's Tale. Forget it. RoboCop opened Wednesday, which admittedly didn't win over critics, but works as an alternative to sap. And Friday the zombie flick The Returned is out (with a limited release). Zombies are victims, too, and a post-zombie world where a treatment called the "Return Protein" can stop the spread of the virus means the "Returned" are able to live relatively normal lives. Now that's sweet.
Spread the love and adopt
Why limit your search for "The One" to the two-legged? This Valentine's Day weekend, national animal welfare organization Best Friends Animal Society is encouraging gift-givers to skip pet stores and adopt a pet for a $14 fee. Adopt a bonded pair and both adoption fees are waived. The promotion starts Friday and ends on Feb. 28. The group finds loving homes for dogs, cats, birds, bunnies, horses, pigs, parrots and more. A pet for every taste.