By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
She was known as advice maven Dear Abby, a persona she invented well
over a half-century ago. Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips, who died
Wednesday afternoon at age 94, was buried today in a small family
ceremony.
Phillips, who had Alzheimer's disease, died in
Minneapolis where she moved in 2002. That year, her daughter Jeanne
Phillips officially assumed the Dear Abby title, according to publicist
Gene Willis of Universal Uclick, the independent syndicate that
distributes the column to a daily readership of more than 110 million.
"If
there's a party up there, my mother is sparkling and she's the life of
the party," Jeanne Phillips said today. "She was wonderful -- an
amazing, charismatic, caring, caring woman. She loved and had a deep
concern for other people."
Phillips, of Los Angeles, says her mother taught her about human nature and "not to be too judgmental because we're all human."
Phillips
has been at her mother's bedside the past week. She says her mother was
diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1996, "but she had it many years before."
Abby
started life as Pauline Esther Friedman, of Sioux City, Iowa, but was
better known by her childhood nickname "Popo." It wasn't until she
created Abby that the internationally syndicated columnist would become a
household name, public speaker, radio broadcaster and author of five
books.
Abby's career dishing out relationship counsel began
shortly after her twin sister, Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer, called
"Eppie," had gotten into the business of advising others in 1955. Her
sister would also take a pen name - Ann Landers - when she took over
writing the so-named existing newspaper advice column in Chicago.
The way Abby tells it in her 1981 book The Best of Dear Abby, she approached the San Francisco Chronicle
about replacing the current advice columnist. In 1956, the suburban
homemaker, volunteer and mother of two teens took the pseudonym Abigail
Van Buren and never looked back.
She was Abby, say those who knew her best.
"She
went by 'Abby' in her personal and professional life, unlike Ann
Landers who was very much 'Eppie' in her personal life. Even Mort
(Abby's husband) called her 'Abby,'" says Alan McDermott, her editor
since 1980. He still edits the column for the Kansas City, Mo.-based
Universal Uclick.
"I supposed one indication of her influence is
that if you said 'Dear Abby,' 90% of the American people would know who
you're talking about," he says.
"She allowed all kinds of topics
that might not have been talked about before in an everyday public
forum. But in addition to her legacy of addressing important social
issues, she also had a column that was fun and lighthearted. She took
delight in puns and clever word play," he says.
McDermott says he
last saw Abby in 2001 when she and her daughter were awarded a star on
the Hollywood Walk of Fame for their radio program. Jeanne Phillips owns
the legal rights to the Dear Abby pen name.
In her 1981 book, Abby explains how she came up with her moniker:
"I
took the 'Abigail' from the Old Testament, for Abigail was a prophetess
in the Book of Samuel, I chose 'Van Buren' from our eighth president,
Martin Van Buren, because I liked the aristocratic, old-family ring."
Helen
Thomas, 92, a veteran journalist and close friend, said Thursday she
learned of her friend's death Wednesday evening. Jeanne Phillips says
Thomas was the first person she called.
"She was a real leader. She made a great contribution to the world," Thomas says of Abby.
But on a personal note, Thomas adds, "she was a great friend," noted for "her generosity, her kindness, her goodness."
In a 2007 interview with USA TODAY, Thomas said that Abby had a "tremendous heart and tremendous compassion."
"People
related to her and she understood them," Thomas said. "She always was
upbeat and gave the best advice she could. She was never flippant with
people's problems."
Thomas said she met Abby in 1975 when both
appeared on a television talk show hosted by Dinah Shore. Thomas had
written a book about the White House.
"She loaned me her limo to
go to different places to promote the book," Thomas said. "I thought
'This has got to be a great woman.' "
Abby's columns addressed
more than just problems of the lovelorn. She tackled prickly
relationships, sex, illness, equal rights, AIDS awareness and hospice
care, among other topics of the times.
McDermott says he and Abby
used to have weekly conversations to go over the columns. He described
her as "bright, charming, engaged and curious."
"She was a genuine person - the kind of persona she radiated in the column was who she was as a person," McDermott says.
The
rival advice columns penned by the twins apparently caused some
familial ill will. Despite the fact that they had a double wedding in
1939, many reports have said they feuded and later reconciled. Abby's
sister died in June 2002.
Abby had often said her daughter helped
her since the column began, offering a younger perspective to some of
the questions. But it wasn't until December 2000 that Abby acknowledged
Jeanne's participation in earlier years. At that time, the longtime
resident of Beverly Hills moved to Minneapolis, where her husband Mort
had kept a residence because of business interests.
In 2003,
Abby's family, along with an anonymous donor, contributed a total of $10
million to the Mayo Clinic for its Alzheimer's research. The facility
was renamed the Abigail Van Buren Alzheimer's Disease Research Clinic.
Abby
is survived by her husband of 73 years Mort Phillips of Minneapolis;
daughter Jeanne Phillips and husband Walter Harris of Los Angeles; four
grandchildren and two great granddaughters. She was preceded in death by
three siblings and a son, Eddie Phillips.
"She had a great impact on our society," said Thomas. "She was sparkling, really."
McDermott
says the column today addresses "the same questions with a modern spin.
The culture is different now, but human nature is still full of
challenges."