Mom Life: The struggles and joys of modern motherhood
From bedtime curfews, to picky eaters, to sharing it all on social media -- we're showing what mom life really looks like leading up to Mother's Day.
Pinterest Perfect
Leading up to Mother's Day, we are celebrating moms in the realest way we know how by showing what mom life really looks like.
From the struggles at bedtime, to curfews to dealing with picky eaters, we gathered a group of moms together with kids of all ages to talk about the real issues moms are dealing with daily.
We start with the struggle of being 'Pinterest Perfect.' How many moms out there scroll through social media like sites of Pinterest or Instagram and think how perfect everyone looks?
If you are nodding your head, you are not alone.
In fact, a study published in the Journal of Computers and Human Behavior found the more social media platforms people use, the more often they feel stress and anxiety.
The struggle is real. And sometimes it cuts deep especially when a person is hurting like local mom Nicole Johnson who has struggled with infertility.
"We had to go through IVF to have my son and probably what I thought was my perfect family, I wanted three or four kids and I wanted a house full, but my perfect is what God gave me, and it's a family of three. And sometimes looking at Instagram or Facebook or any social media, you see people with their families and sometimes the motherly sadness occurs," says Johnson.
A lot of times, what you see on social media takes away the back story and just presents a pretty, perfect picture.
"Nobody does it on purpose because essentially I could post a picture of my family and there could be a family out there doing the same thing," says Johnson.
All the moms we talked to agreed there are things they see on social media that bring them down.
"I don't love to be left out of things and then your wheels start turning and you're like, wait they got invited to that, but you're making stuff up in your head. You know it didn't really happen that way," says Dee Dee Brownlee.
But Jennie Councill actually is a Pinterest mom who throws crazy, creative parties for her kids.
"Creativity is my love language. I am not a neat person, I don't clean very well, I've got lots of different weaknesses, but one of my strengths is definitely creativity," says Councill.
But as the famous quote reads, "comparison is the thief of joy," and moms have to focus on what they do well.
"We need people who have different strengths and so I don't like it when people are, especially moms, compare themselves to other people because what I'm doing well, is what you see on my Instagram, but you do not see my messy house and you do not see the things that I don't do well," says Councill.
Mom Taxi
Another issue moms face: the shuttle service. Our kids clearly don't have a driver's license yet. They do, however, have very busy schedules.
So, in comes mom's taxi service! That's not a real thing, but boy, it should be!
Who feels me on this one? Baseball, baseball again for kid number two, tennis for both, soccer for one.
And then there's the four-year-old and just along for the ride.
This is life for Megan Emery.
"I feel like once 2:30 until sometimes 8:30/9:00 at night I'm just going. I mean, in the car, up and down the road," says Emery.
Three kids, multiple activities per kid and school, this is a logistical nightmare.
"It is hard. I mean I sit down every night and I look at the calendar or even like on Sunday thinking about the week. I talk to my husband like, okay talk me through your schedule this week. I'm like 'Okay, I need to make sure I have help,' because I logistically cannot be both places," says Emery.
And that's hard too. For instance, say mom can't go to one child's game. Then feelings get hurt, kids get sad -- and that has to be managed, too.
"I have to be upfront with him about that, 'Listen, I can't be there for everything.' So we've tried to take turns and be fair and that hurts her feelings sometimes but I try to just do the best that I can," says Emery.
Making it all work takes a lot of planning ahead.
"Friday night I was at home, I was up until late packing, making sure everybody had their bags and their uniforms laid out and all their water bottles laid out. I try to make it as easy as possible so you can just pick it up and go. I mean I sent my daughter two weeks ago to her baseball game in the wrong uniform. Like, it happens!" says Emery.
And Megan has to remain calm.
"There is a method to the madness, and you try not to panic, especially if the sitter cancels at the last minute, or somebody gets sick or things change, you just kind of have to roll with it," says Emery.
Short Order Cook
Doesn't it seem like all the things we love as adults, sleeping, down time, food, a lot of kids just don't love?
The mom panel discussion today centers on food because picky eaters or not, it seems all parents face the struggle of dinner time!
The pizza and chicken finger only diet, the no veggie plan or maybe it's sweets all the time for every meal and nothing else.
Whatever your child fancies, getting them to eat can be a full time job! Nicole Johnson knows this well.
"When he was two, I just just like, oh! He's eating his quinoa and he has all these colors on his plate, but I'm telling you I feel like his transition was from three to four. All of a sudden he found his voice, and he realized he could say, 'Oh I don't like that', of course, then the word 'no' started, and then everything changed. It was just like a light switch. I'm just like what happened to you?" says Johnson.
It's a problem Registered Dietitian Andrea Kendrick hears about often.
"I do get those complaints, I definitely do understand that being a mom with three small kids of my own. So, they can go from loving broccoli one minute to hating it the very next day. So, very fickle, right?" says Kendrick.
And so mom ends up trying different methods to get her child to eat.
One try to make them eat what you cook.
"Legitimately I've tried the whole, okay you're going to sit there and not eat. Well, he really won't eat it. So he would choose to go to bed hungry, then i get the mom guilt of okay that's not okay either," says Johnson.
Or you cook for every member of the family like Virginia Babb who has a picky 18-year-old!
"I probably plan a little too much around him. Like last night we had grilled chicken and then I made sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts and pasta He only ate the chicken and the pasta and the girls ate the sweet potatoes and the Brussels sprouts," says Babb.
Sometimes there is no magic formula, but Andrea says be consistent and get creative!
"If it's always raw broccoli, let's try roasting it. Let's try steaming it. Let's try putting it into a casserole or something of that nature so that it's not always in that exact same form. It would be one way. So we mentioned the broccoli, let's try carrot," say Kendrick. "Bring the child to the store, have them help pick out the vegetable, and maybe with a little more autonomy they will be more apt to try and eat the vegetable. And always encourage at least a couple of bites, trying it, rather than just deciding that they don't like it just based off of looks, would be encouraged."
Bedtime and Curfews
Our panel of mamas has a lot to say about the issues they face when the sun goes down.
Curfews and bedtime.
Day turns to night. And while this is supposed to be when relaxation and hopefully a sweet slumber begins, it seems a mom's work is just beginning.
Nicole Johnson says this is the time when her frustrations peak.
"When I say 7:30 it's typically, 'Did I have a dessert? Can I have a cookie? Can dad play football with me?' it's one of those," says Johnson.
A potty break, another glass of water, one more hug, one more snuggle. Kids have a very long bedtime to do list.
"If I didn't say that it was time for bed he would do whatever it took to push it, push it, push it, and would stay up and do whatever he could so it's the process," says Johnson.
Bedtime for toddlers eventually transitions into curfews for teenagers.
"When they get to be driving, 16, the driving curfew is 11 o clock, that's the law and we have enforced it and we kind of go by that law," says Virginia Babb.
Babb has three high schoolers. She says she makes sure her kids are clear on the rules and that works for them.
"I really have not had that fight with my kids, but they're not, I don't have the wild, partying kids either. So I don't have that struggle, but I know that some other parents do," says Babb.
"Never Would I Ever..."
Everyone is the perfect parent before they become one, right? Surely there were times before you became a parent that you'd say "If I were a parent, I'd never..."
We talked to our panel of moms about all the things they said they would never do... and then they had kids.
We'll let the video speak for itself: