KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Coming out can be among the hardest experiences of an LGBTQ+ person's life — and it can be especially hard in Tennessee, which the Human Rights Campaign ranks as among the least gay-friendly states in the country.
WBIR reporters asked three people who live in East Tennessee and identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community to share their stories and their advice for those struggling to come out.
Darius Edwards, a senior at the University of Tennessee studying music composition and education, said he came out as gay just two summers ago.
"It was completely spontaneous," he said. "It felt really really good to do it at that point—just because all my friends and everybody I wanted to know knew, but it was my way of telling the world who I am and who I’ve always been."
Before he came out, he asked himself a simple question: "Do I want to keep making everyone else happy, or do I want to be happy?"
Darius Edwards:
In his video, Edwards also spoke directly to queer people of color — and the particular difficulties some face at the intersection of race and sexuality.
"You are not alone," he said. "I am here for you and there are so many people out there cheering you on."
Winter Starkey said coming out also meant explaining asexuality to people—a topic Starkey didn't know much about as a kid.
Winter Starkey:
"Asexuality is when a person is lacking sexual attraction," Starkey said.
She emphasized that asexuality and celibacy are two different subjects. If a person is celibate, they may still feel sexual attraction while people who identify as asexual may not feel sexual attraction at all.
Advocates have also explained different ways people can identify as being asexual. Some people who identify that way may never feel sexual attraction at all, while others simply may not experience it as much as others.
"It’s something that you fundamentally cannot change about yourself," she said. "It’s not something that you choose."
Starkey hesitated to first come out to others at first but said it was also an empowering experience.
"I know I’m not going to get a positive reaction from everybody, but it doesn’t bother me," Starkey said.
Still, Starkey understands why some might not be comfortable coming out.
"Once you’re out in the open, there’s no going back so everyone’s going to hold a different opinion of you," Starkey said. "It’s completely understandable if you’re not ready or you’re not prepared."
Juniper Meadows:
Juniper Meadows came out about 10 years ago when she began pursuing hormone therapy as a transgender woman.
"It wasn’t easy in East Tennessee, certainly," she said. "There were struggles with family, there continue to be struggles with family."
But she said she found hope and love from friends in her life, even if they didn't completely understand her.
"These past 10 years have taught me that there is enough love," she said. "And that would be my advice to people struggling to come out today: that there is enough love,."
All three also shared resources that helped them. We've compiled a list of resources available in East Tennessee here.