Reporter's Disclaimer: This story is meant to be comedic and intentionally includes exaggerations, fabrications, and absolutely ludicrous conclusions. We hope you enjoy this "exclusive" tongue-in-cheek story.
(WBIR - Knoxville) University of Tennessee football fans always circle the game against Alabama on the schedule. This year, they're throwing darts at the October 25 date with the return of a truly offensive coordinator: former UT head coach Lane Kiffin.
When Kiffin took off from Tennessee after just one 7-6 season as head coach of the Vols, he left behind many angry fans, several NCAA violations, and an unpaid bill at his Knoxville barber shop.
"The best part of this job is the people," said Rusty Manis, owner of the Western Plaza Barber Shop. "Our customers become family."
At the Western Plaza Barber Shop, it only costs $14 for Manis to have you looking like a million bucks. After the 2008 football season, when Lane Kiffin showed up as the newest millionaire head coach in Big Orange Country, he almost immediately took a seat in Rusty's trusty chair.
"His [Kiffin's] first haircut was just right when he got here [to Tennessee]. One of the guys from UT brought him down straight off the plane to get a haircut. We trimmed his hair because he was going to all of his press conference stuff," said Manis.
Kiffin paid for the haircut and went on his way to meet the Tennessee fan base. While shirtless UT fans shouted their love for the newly hired coach, Rusty had unknowingly fallen prey to an elaborate plan by Kiffin to earn the barber's trust. This first prompt payment was merely a trap so Kiffin could mop up later with a harrowing haircut heist.
"The next time he came in, when we got done he didn't have any money. He said he forgot his wallet. I said just 'catch us next time' and pay during your next visit. We do that a lot. Sometimes folks either forget their wallets or their kids took lunch money or something. Almost everyone pays us back," said Manis.
Like the rest of Tennessee, Rusty put his trust in Kiffin and waited patiently for repayment. After all, how hard is it to pay for a $14 haircut for a man who earns $2 million a year? Kiffin earned the highest salary of any public employee in the state of Tennessee. Kiffin was more than capable of repaying Manis. Kiffin did not need the $14, he just wanted it.
When asked if Kiffin was laughing when he left the barber shop that day, Manis initially responded with a resounding "no." When asked again if Kiffin was laughing, this time with the reporter using a more mysterious tone as to plant a seed of doubt in Rusty's mind, Manis responded, "You know, he might have been."
Little did Rusty know, but there would be no "next time" for Kiffin to pay for his haircut. Kiffin departed Knoxville in the dark of night destined for Southern California with an unpaid debt. He also stole Rusty's dignity and left behind a feeling that Kiffin took the USC job specifically to get out of paying Manis the $14 haircut bill.
"Yeah, probably. When you can't afford a haircut here, you probably have to take a different job. That's why he left," said Manis.
The shave and a haircut for a two-bit coach cost Rusty a lot more than $14. At 1% annual simple interest over the course of five years, today that unpaid debt would amount to $14.70.
Falling victim to a hair-do Houdini would also come at a big professional price for Rusty, as he lost the respect of his coworkers. Kiffin's hirsute hoax also shamed Rusty's parents into quitting the family business they loved and operated for nearly 50 years.
"No, my Mom and Dad had already planned to retire," said Manis. When asked again in a deeper voice if Kiffin's behavior led to their retirement, he added, "Maybe so. They might have figured if people weren't going to pay for their haircuts, they should just go ahead and retire."
Related Story: December 24, 2011 - Long-time barbers retire their scissors
Rusty was too ashamed of being victimized to ever call the police or a collection agency for help reclaiming his $14 from Kiffin. He decided to leave the arduous memory in the past. Yet, now with Kiffin returning to the scene of the crime, there's no way for Rusty to avoid the tearful topic. He bristles at the thought of Kiffin brazenly rolling back into town as a member of the Crimson Tide, fearful Kiffin may once again snare him in a high-stakes game of haircut crops and robbers.
"Maybe he'll pay his bill, but I wouldn't bet on it," said Manis. "He's probably going to be too busy."
After more than four years of perpetual pain, today the kind-hearted Tennessean has transformed this tale of treachery into one of follicle forgiveness.
"There are no hard feelings. We've gotten at least $14 worth of fun out the fact he owes me for a haircut."
Rusty has forgiven the devious debtor, but still sends a message of warning for 'Bama barbers to avoid Kiffin's con.
"Down in Tuscaloosa, they better not give him credit because he may skip town on you real quick. We know better than to trust him next time, that's for sure," said Manis.
Reporter's Note: We may have slightly exaggerated some of the details of this story, but these main aspects are true: The Western Plaza Barber Shop cut Lane Kiffin's hair. Employees have had fun the last few years telling people how Kiffin forgot to pay for his haircut.
