KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Alzheimer’s disease is ever so slowly robbing Ray Dedrick of movement and memories.
“I can see where they named this disease the long goodbye,” Ray said. “I can’t remember Christmas. I can’t remember what I had to eat two nights ago.”
His wife, Tee Dedrick, can’t help but notice the changes.
“There are things that happen now that didn’t happen before. He won’t remember to eat," she said.
Living with Alzheimer’s is hard enough. Living with the disease during a pandemic has tested their entire family.
Ray’s mind and body are failing him. During some of the worst days of the coronavirus pandemic last winter, as COVID-19 cases soared, he was in a Knoxville hospital for knee surgery.
Their son was in another hospital facing his own life challenge, testicular cancer that had spread to his liver and lymph nodes.
“So, I had to go from one hospital and for a while, stay with Ray and then leave and then go spend time with him. It was like running back and forth constantly,” Tee said.
That is Tee’s reality as a caregiver compounded by the coronavirus, juggling family, work, a devastating disease while dodging a deadly virus.
When the pandemic hit and life shut down, Tee’s catering jobs dried up.
Now, she’s playing catch up, working 12 hours or more per day and then going home to care for Ray.
“I don’t want to have to be working so much that I miss all the time, but I have to work all the time because we have to make up for the time during the pandemic we didn’t have work," Tee said.
The physical and emotional stress spills over.
Ray said it is hard for him to see Tee cry when it gets to be too much. He thinks he has done something wrong.
Tee said some days the stressors just build up.
“You work 16 hours and your health starts to deteriorate and you’re like, ‘I need to take care of myself but I have to take care of everyone else,’” Tee said.
On their hardest days, they still try to focus on the good.
Ray has recovered from his surgery and their son is cancer-free.
They celebrate together knowing their long goodbye is one day closer.
“It’s all good. God knows,” Ray said. “I’m in good hands.”
Alzheimer’s Tennessee offers guidance and support for families living with the disease. For more information, visit alztennessee.org.